Mortimer sat on his puffy leather chair, enjoying the comfort of his penthouse suite. His suite was perched on the top floor of a 50 story residential high-rise. With classical music softly chiming, he sipped a glass of wine while reading the paper. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew the wall off the side of the building.
****
I wanted to ask my mom if we have a digital camera. She was asleep, so I googled it.
****
I flipped on the game in time to see the coin toss. When the result was heads, I exclaimed, “That’s boloney!”
****
Every time I walk into work, my boss exclaims, “Bingo!” He doesn’t do it when any of the other employees come in.
****
On my way to work with briefcase and keys in hand, I stepped out of my house. I locked my door and turned around to see the earth splitting in two. My car, and the concrete it sat on, plunged downward never to be seen again.
****
By the time my lunch break came, I was starving. I opened my lunch box to find that my mom had packed it only with stones and pebbles, and no food.
****
I made the mistake of letting out a cough while facing a royal palm tree. Sure enough, the tree toppled to the ground.
****
On my flight from Miami to London, I demanded that I reach my destination in no more than 10 minutes.
****
I asked for a price check on a bag of crackers. They turned out to be priced at five hundred dollars.
****
My company is a non-profit organization. When everybody’s salary is paid, there is no profit leftover.
****
I soldered two pieces of wood in an L shape.
****
Every year, I plant my empty water bottles in the ground. After about 90 days, I harvest a case of full water bottles.
****
The element of surprise is key in battle. Therefore, Christmas is the best time to go to war.
****
Four plus four equals nine.
****
My company proudly designs and manufactures pens that don’t write.
****
I buy printer paper that is enhanced with minerals for a pure, fresh taste.
****
I wouldn’t be the first person to say that the class of 1980 was lacking.