Mortimer had a heart attack during dinner with his family so they called the ambulance. The paramedics showed up with a toolbox, and no medical equipment.

A restauranteur and a waste processing manager met for lunch one day.

“Boy, trash is piling up big time these days,” said the waste processing manager. “The issue of where and how to dispose of trash is becoming problematic.”

“Eureka!” exclaimed the restauranteur. “I can serve it in my restaurant!”


I wanted my speaker volume turned up so I turned the knob clockwise, but the volume went down.


For today, I am cutting all grains from my diet. For breakfast, I’ll have an omelet and buttered toast.


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